Hobos, not bums.

Look, as a recently Hoboized American you do have to face some harsh truths about your new lowered status in society. A lot of pride will have to be thrown away if you want to survive, but you don't have to give away all of it. It's true that you're a Hobo now, but take heart in the fact that at least you're not a bum.

What's the difference,? Well bums are smelly and useless and just sit around on the streets all day. why do you think they call them bums? -Always sitting around on them.

You my friend are not a bum. You're a Hobo. you're not useless, you provide people with nifty harmonica music, and tales of the open road. You add "local color" to your neighborhood. Heck, you don't even smell, you clean yourself with economy brand soap.

Remember, you're not living on the street. You're just taking a leisurely stroll between locales.

The Buddy System

Okay everyone , have you picked your Hobo Buddy?
We've already talked a bit about the psychological burdens of being a nouveau hobo, or nouveaubo- and that it's going to be a long hard journey of bad vibes and negative emotions. Which is why it's so important to get yourself a Hobo Buddy now.

You'll need a good friend, someone who has know you for a while and is willing to put up with your mood swings and bad days; cause there's going to be an assload of those. Your Hobo Buddy should live within walking distance from your apartment, shantytown, or refrigerator box - a Hobo Buddy you can't afford to meet up with is of no use. And of course your Hobo Buddy will also have to be a freelancer, or recent member of the downsized or unemployed. After all commiseration is what we're after here.

Once you've chosen your Buddy there are many important ways you'll be utilizing this friendship. Try to schedule daily walks or meetups at a favorite bench or early happy hour. With no job to get you out of bed you'll need these little scheduled events and peer support to get your ass out into the sunlight every day- remember, rickets are no fun, and the sunlight may help your crappy crappy attitude. Your daily strolls will also serve as your only form of excersize.

You'll also need a Hobo buddy to bounce all of your get-rich-quick schemes and zaney plans to obtain food off of. A Hobo Buddy can often serve as that sounding board that let's you know which ideas are merely poorly thought out and which ones are leading down the path to insanity.

Your Hobo Buddy is your lifeline and you theirs. it's a sacred trust. You're there to cheer each other up, keep each other going, share bread crusts with, fight off shantytown marauding wolf packs with, bro-hug for warmth and keep each other on the rocky road of sanity. Think of your Hobo Buddy as a reciprocal AA sponsor, but one you can share a flask with.

Hobo Psychology

One of the things we'll be dealing with here at The BHT, beside general survival techniques for the recently impoverished, recipes for sub-par meals whipped up with half the budget of a college freshman, and ill-thought out and clearly insane housing schemes, will be the psychology of surviving in the new economy (The Great Recession?)

Look, times are going to be tough, and you're going to have a lot of bad days. You'll be forced to ponder questions like...
How did things get so bad?

Why did I ever quit my first crappy retail job? (dude if I stayed there I'd have a cushy assistant manager job by now)

Liberal Arts!? Really!!?? That's what I thought was a good idea for a major !!!???

What can I do to delay moving back in with Mom & Dad for at least another day?

Will anyone ever have sex with a man with 78¢ in his checking account ?


We at the Brooklyn Hobo Times want you to know that we've got your back. we're here to be a resource... a mental and emotional swiss army knife.

Buck up little camper, it's not that thing's AREN'T that bad, but at least you're not alone.
Hobo Hug