Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Hobo Link: Hobo Honeycomb Hideout

The fine folks at Gizmodo have an article about a house made out of honeycombed paper that costs only $5,000 and sleeps 8. Man, you could really bundle up for the winter and cover the cost by renting out sleep space to your hobo buddies. The best part about it is:
It has been designed so that a family can slaughter an animal on the veranda, wash it in the shower and hang it, along with fish, on an integrated washing line.
Well, when one of your hobo buddies freezes to death, you have a place to turn them into hobo jerky.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Hobo Link:

The often Brilliant and always entertaining folks at Cracked have a great article up on 5 Homeless Guys Who Accomplished Amazing Things by Ian Fortey
Emperor Norton I should be an example to use all.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Cheap Drunk #4: Free Booze

There's cheap wine, there's your flask and then there is free booze which, if you can afford the metrocard, tops the cake in my book. It also affords a great opportunity to get out of your shack and meet up with other Hobos and hob nob with the gentry, ie: network.

Mackey just alerted me to this article from the New York Times: has been around since 2005 but is now attracting more listings, promotions and readers than ever, despite — or perhaps because of — the tanking economy and shrinking advertising dollars and liquor sales at bars. The site’s founders, Seva Granik and Jason Fried, said that more bars and restaurants are clamoring to get their events listed, eager to drive customers through the door. And, to no one’s surprise, demand for free drinks is skyrocketing. (Liquor sales are considered recession-proof, though one recent study by the Nielsen Company suggests that while sales at liquor stores have increased, people are going out to nightclubs and bars far less frequently.)

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Cheap Drunk #3: The Flask is your friend

Its unavoidable that you'll have to occasionally hit a bar with your buds and aside from making sure that there is a convenient happy hour, the other thing you can do to ensure you get a healthy buzz on without emptying your wallet is to bring a flask. Now, as an occasional bartender I must frown on drinking your own hooch at any establishment, but as a hobo, your funds are tight and its not like you'll be laying down 8 bucks for a shot of whiskey anyways so it is acceptable as long as you are buying a pint of beer and tipping well.
As Doc pointed out, 1.5 liters of Philadelphia whiskey is just shy of 16 bucks. That's a lot of booze for what would have cost ya for only two shots. That's what I like to call bar math.

Cheap Drunk #2: Ghetto Chard

New Year's Eve is a time for revelry, and consumption of mass quantities. As a hobo you can't exactly afford to go on a bender at the local bar, but you can appear to be mr money bags when you show up with 3 bottles of Tisdale Chardonnay at your friend's party. Sterling Grapes and Grains on 5th ave in Park Slope offers up this ghetto chard for the rock bottom price of 10.99 for 3 bottles. At that price, after you've had your first glass, the other 2 and 2/3 bottles are essentially free. Its like being paid to drink! And with the generous offer of 3 bottles of wine that you bring to any party, no one will give you a 2nd glance as you move on to the more expensive booze and champagne.

Tisdale, putting "Tis" in "Tis the Season" for years. I promise, tis not the stuff of hangovers.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Hobo Humor

In these times of distress and panicked financial situations it is important to keep in mind the importance of humor. The economy sucks and god knows no “new jobs” are being invented but you can’t let the idea of never owning a house, or a car, or having to move back to your parents house, or into a cardboard box, let you down. On the happy side you can find free stuff that can even cause laughter. You may have heard this, laughter is good medicine hence good hobo helathcare. One can find various places that provide chuckles at improv theaters as close as a nearby subway ride to the island of Manhattan. Each nite one can witness for a reasonable cost a performance of profound exciting moments of now. Theaters such as Upright Citizens Brigade, The P.I.T. and Magnet Theater can be found in the Manhattan area. Magnet Theater features $5 improv shows every night except Monday and $1 PBRs on Thursday nites at the bar. There are even free mixer nights Wednesday & Thursday nights if you want to get on the stage with your hoboself. Also free trial classes. Keep your chin up it might feel like the economic world is falling apart and it is, try to keep in mind it is not just for you but for everybody, might as well laugh about it.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Happy Hobomas!

Now that Christmas is over... welcome to Hobomas!

You know about Boxing Day already, when the lower classes who have to work on Christmas get the NEXT day off to spend with their families and some comparatively crappy presents... Hobomas is like that, but with a dash of Hanukah thrown in.

Yes, Hobomas consists of the 6 days between Christmas and New Years. Each day of Hobomas has the potential for bringing a bounty of cast-off gifts and goodies. Hopefully you already started your Hobomas off right by being lucky enough to attend Christmas dinner at some better-off family member or friend's home. Christmas night, or "Hobomas Eve" can be incredibly lucrative: make sure to take your hosts up on every offer to take home some leftovers from the meal, or that present meant for the guest who couldn't make it after all. And if you have your flask handy, don't forget "one more for the road".

For the next six days and nights it's time to make the rounds: Did a diabetic friend receive a gift box of chocolate? Was your tea totaller cousin gifted with a bottle of bourbon? Friends who received sweaters that were not quite their style, favorite gin mills with leftover Xmas themed snacks... these are the rounds to make with a cheerful smile and puppy dog look in your eye.

Don't forget the cornucopia of landfill-bound goodies! Tis the season for people to receive new electronics, and for the older, yet still functioning models, to be cast curbside! Housewares for your shack, old coats replaced by less threadworn ones. Every upgrade results in a downgraded item. Keep your eyes open and your fingers nibble. And now's the perfect time to get a preowned tree for your shanty town digs, pre-tinseled in many cases.

Here's a helpful tip: Try not to aggressively beg or ask, be subtle in your hoboness. If you come on too strong or desperate or irritating you won't be invited into anyone's home or bar next Hobomas. Just strategically manage to be in the right place at the right time you'll have the best Hobomas ever.

Merry Mooching!