Friday, December 26, 2008

Happy Hobomas!

Now that Christmas is over... welcome to Hobomas!

You know about Boxing Day already, when the lower classes who have to work on Christmas get the NEXT day off to spend with their families and some comparatively crappy presents... Hobomas is like that, but with a dash of Hanukah thrown in.

Yes, Hobomas consists of the 6 days between Christmas and New Years. Each day of Hobomas has the potential for bringing a bounty of cast-off gifts and goodies. Hopefully you already started your Hobomas off right by being lucky enough to attend Christmas dinner at some better-off family member or friend's home. Christmas night, or "Hobomas Eve" can be incredibly lucrative: make sure to take your hosts up on every offer to take home some leftovers from the meal, or that present meant for the guest who couldn't make it after all. And if you have your flask handy, don't forget "one more for the road".

For the next six days and nights it's time to make the rounds: Did a diabetic friend receive a gift box of chocolate? Was your tea totaller cousin gifted with a bottle of bourbon? Friends who received sweaters that were not quite their style, favorite gin mills with leftover Xmas themed snacks... these are the rounds to make with a cheerful smile and puppy dog look in your eye.

Don't forget the cornucopia of landfill-bound goodies! Tis the season for people to receive new electronics, and for the older, yet still functioning models, to be cast curbside! Housewares for your shack, old coats replaced by less threadworn ones. Every upgrade results in a downgraded item. Keep your eyes open and your fingers nibble. And now's the perfect time to get a preowned tree for your shanty town digs, pre-tinseled in many cases.

Here's a helpful tip: Try not to aggressively beg or ask, be subtle in your hoboness. If you come on too strong or desperate or irritating you won't be invited into anyone's home or bar next Hobomas. Just strategically manage to be in the right place at the right time you'll have the best Hobomas ever.

Merry Mooching!

No comments: